Sunday, October 21, 2012

My Dating Profile, an Update

So, some of you may remember my post from a few months back, My Dating Profile.

Well, I must have struck a chord with someone somewhere, because it has become my most viewed post ever. In fact, I've recieved a lot of comments on this post that I have not published, because sadly they were not exactly appropriate for my nice little blog.

Then last week, because of this single post, I was offered a (paid) position as a relationship (expert) and coach.

Ha. If that isn't crazy, I don't know what is.

Unless clients want to pay for advice about how to run into a cactus and bleed profusely while on a date, attract a man pursuing a career in mind reading, or scare their date away in 3.8 seconds flat, I'm afraid they will be greatly disappointed.

So, dear masses, I must apologize because I will not be able to sell you any of my expert advice.

But, my friends, don't despair. I will leave you with a couple tid-bits for free.

* If you run into a cactus on a date, don't try to brush it off like nothing happened. If you do it will be hard to explain the blood all over your shirt a few minutes later.

* If your date tells you to look into his eyes and think of a color, and is still trying to guess the color (which was red) ten minutes later, it's time to walk away.

* If you want the date to last more than 3.8 seconds, don't talk about things like getting kicked out of a country, pitbulls, eating termites, or your love for Bangladesh. Apparently that freaks people out.

* And last, but not least, always be yourself. If you do decide to make an online dating profile, don't try to come off as more cool or collected than you really are. The true you should shine through, especially in your profile picture.


Happy dating,

5 comments:

2boymommy said...

This just made my night!

Mark Langham said...

priceless!

Cathrine said...

I still feel like I should create an eharmony profile for you. Please let me?

Rebecca said...

@Cat- NO.

Findlay said...

Becca, like your style. Your so amusing.