Thursday, June 30, 2011

A Cup of Coffee

Hey, you want to go grab a cup of coffee?
Yes, you. All of you.

Well...most of you ;)

How at times I wish we could. We have so much to talk about.

I have so many things spinning through my head. Time and time again I have sat down to write them here, and they just get clumped up into a big jumbled mess of words.

Deep thoughts and meaningful questions that I wish we could real real conversation.

I'm sure you've got some of those things too...things that are filling your thoughts and tearing at your heart. Words you are longing to share with a friend.

So, I'll get the coffee started, and you can pull up a chair, and we’ll do the best that we can with the space between us.

One of the things that has been filling my thoughts lately is success, and how differently we all define success in our lives.

Or, to be more specific, how I feel this word often makes me stick out of the crowd like a sore thumb...

...even when the crowd is friends and family and church family.

There are the things I am praying about, steps I am hoping to take, and I wonder if these people and their views of success are playing a role in the choices I am making, or, more accurately, not making. I don't want to walk in their human will for my life; I want to walk in God's will for my life.

And that’s hard when God's way looks a lot like failure in their eyes.

To paraphrase the definition of success, it would be "the achievement of something desired."

When looking at this definition, it makes me rethink that maybe we are not so different in what we believe success is, but rather, what we desire.

The more I grow in my relationship with Christ, and the more I open up my eyes to the people around me, the more poverty tears my heart apart.

I desire to be a warrior against the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of poverty. I desire to live in community with the poor and love with every ounce of me.

I will never drive that fancy car or have that house on the beach, or possibly any house. I will probably never have that extra money to spend on clothes or hair or vacations. In fact, I will likely live my life day by day in faith, trusting that God will provide enough. I will always be the outsider.

And what makes me sad is this; most of the people I know, even most of the people who love me, will likely see my life as a failure because of this. I am pretty sure most of them do now. And although I don't want their desires to define me, it still hurts. And on some days more than others, it makes me feel far away from some of the people I should feel the closest to.

Now I breathe deeply and thank you for listening, and I’ll sip my coffee and listen closely as you share about you. I want to hear your thoughts on success and failure, your hurts, and your desires.

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal…


Linda said...

Oh, Becca.... God bless you for your sincere, loving, obedient heart. You've found words for an issue many of us face / have faced. I know the questions, the wonderings, the sometimes-elusive answers, the comparisons. But believe me, you have chosen the better way, the way of peace and true joy and fulfillment found onlyl in living your life for God. One of my favorite Bible verses is Acts 13:36. It says that when David had accomplished God's purposes for his (David's) own generation, he died and was buried. Period. Just think of the immense peace and joy he must have had, knowing he had fulfilled GOD's purposes for his time on earth! When you come to the end of your life, you will know there's no finer way to invest your years and your heart and your life and your faith in doing what you are doing now. God is smiling.

Be of good cheer,

Jill Foley said...

So I read this once without coffee...then I brewed a pot and came back to read again : )

You've got some good questions and points - deep and not easily answered. Can you believe that I just studied this subject a bit this morning - only in relation to Christ and his life.

Christ - the greatest, the most exalted, glorified and sitting at the right hand of God. His earthly success was so far from our definition. Yet he was obedient.... he humbled himself....he became a servant.

Studying this this morning, was not new information to me, but it took on new meaning ~ or at least hit me in a new way.

Praying for you as you seek to walk this narrow path. And praying for those close to you - that they will see a life pointing to God.

Melissa Irwin said...

You are so beautiful Becca.... and in my honest heart of might be one of the most successful people I know. I love you!

annabelle said...

just sounds like an echo of my heart. and it's getting harder and harder not to become like everyone else in orange county. I'm taking a deep breath of rocky mountain air, and praying that being out of that Babylon will refresh me.

Mark Langham said...

We are a success when we submit to the will of God for our life. When we live a life of doing unto the least of these as worship to Christ. So Miss Rebecca, YOU are such a success!

Mark Langham said...

Oh and Heck yeah on the coffee part!

Jess Elyse said...

The only opinion that truly matters, is that of Christ. And I'm sure that He is not disappointed with you right now.

Following God's will day by day is an exciting adventure that can be scary at times. But when we have Christ, we have no fear.

I have written in one of my Bibles, "Trust and Worry can't exist together." It has been a motto in my life for quite some time.

The way that Christ lived was much different than the way that other people lived. And we are called to love and live like Christ.

You are doing good, girl. No worries. :-)

Rebecca said...

@Linda~Thank you. I am sure that along your path you've faced some similar things...and I definitely see you as successful :) And there is so much encouragement that can be drawn throughout David's life, thank you for that little piece of it :)

@Jill- Thank you for your prayers, for having coffee with me, and for reminding me of Christ's perfect example...I don't know why it is so easy to forget sometimes. :)

@Melissa- I feel the same way about you!

Rebecca said...

@Annabelle- There's is nothing like the beauty of some of God's finest creation to refresh the heart. How long are you in Colorado? I am going there on the 14th...

@Mark-Maybe someday we can have real coffee together, at the same table. Maybe in India? :)

@Jess- Thanks friend. I think you've shared that trust and worry thing on your blog before...cause I definitely remember being convicted by that!

Cathrine said...

I'm working on making my Caramel Macciato...but know I'm going to respond to this.

Mark Langham said...