Well

It was how I saw her. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. She was well. She was well in the way that she lived, the way that she made every person around her feel their worth. She loved well, the way that she offered kindness and grace when they were anything but deserved.

As I lay in my bed keeping watch, joining a community of people praying for her, people who loved her from every corner of the world, it was the only word that could manage to escape as I wept.

Well.

I didn't understand why, in those last weeks, this was the word that my heart cried for her; but it did relentlessly.

In a time in my life where I needed grace, there she was. She prayed scripture over me and spoke truth in my life, like she did for many others. She lived so well.

At her memorial service her husband shared how she continued to intercede on behalf of the other cancer patients in those last weeks, even in her darkest hours. And the song, he said, that she played continuously through those final days, the song that gave her comfort, It Is Well.

"Through it all, my eyes are on You, and it is well with me." 

In her true character, she went with grace. She went well. And now she is well.

Looking back on the year we will soon leave behind, I look back on much loss. Thankful to have met many on my journey and to have walked with them for a while, even if far too short. As I say goodbye again and again, I am reminded of the uncertainty of life and the certainty of death.

In her life I see a picture of what it means to live well, and as I walk into the new year, that picture of a life well lived is what I will take with me. The urgency to love with the moments we are given.

Well: Thoroughly, completely.

It's my heart's prayer.

Live well. 

In loving memory of my teacher, mentor, and friend, Rebecca Michelle Carter. 

Building With Books

 

 

 

As a kindergarten and first grade special education teacher, I spend a majority of my day, every day, teaching children how to read. The more I teach, the more I learn the importance of literacy. It has the power to open doors to a future of possibilities, it plants the seeds of imagination, it gives children the confidence to dream wild and amazing dreams and then make those dreams come true. My friend JD, along with her children, are heading up a project to build a library in a rural village in Ghana. This project will be overseen by Compassion International, and will open many doors for the community of Enyan Abaasa. If you understand the importance of books for literacy, and the importance of literacy in the fight against poverty, I hope you will check out JD's blog post and consider how you can be involved in this amazing project.

Telling Stories...

He's such a good listener :)



 

Home Sweet Home

For friends and family too far away to stop by, here are some pictures of my new home! I just started moving, so as you can see, no furniture yet :)

My quaint little home :)

Living room, with a perfect place to hang my favorite picture

Dining room

Kitchen and laundry room

Kitchen and coffee nook

Bedroom 1

My teeny tiny bathroom

Bedroom 2, the only ugly room that needs a paint job

Living room/hallway

Back yard

Lemon and orange trees

Lots of other trees, including peach, apricot, lime :)

Giving Thanks

Just a few of the many reasons I have to be thankful this year:

*A short but sweet break from school and work, which means time to write a blog post, time to enjoy family, and even time to do a little pleasure reading.

*A job I absolutely love, that makes my heart beat.

*Students who help me grow, laugh, and most of all, keep me on my toes (you have no idea).

*Brussel sprouts. They are in season, which is reason to celebrate. I don't think people are thankful enough for brussel sprouts and all their goodness.

*The cutest little brother who I prayed earnestly for, who God delivered over 25 years late but right on time.

*Amazing friends who do things like help me take my dog to the vet (easier said than done), spend hours and days house hunting with me, and super glue my computer back together in a time of freak-out and despair.

*Good music.

*Kind people.

*Education. There are many women in the world who are much like me, but because of where they were born have never had the right or opportunity to go to school. And there are many children in the world who are much like my students, who are deemed unworthy and not teachable, who will never be given the opportunity to pursue their dreams and strive. It makes me feel sad for the world, because they are truly missing out.

*The seasons. Here in Central California we are having the most beautiful fall that I can remember, and I get to see the best of it as the sun rises on my way to work every morning.

*And last but not least, a place to call home.

That's right. I feel like I did the impossible...I bought a house! I will get the key and sign the final papers the beginning of next week. It's 1,000 cozy square feet of possibilities. It was built in 1937, back when houses were made with quality and character (yes, I realize I sound like an old lady). The backyard is full of fruit trees and planters ready for lots of goodness to grow (maybe even some brussel sprouts). I can't wait to show you the inside, which I will do as soon as I find a working camera. I feel like someone built this house in 1937 with me in mind.

Hope you all have a beautiful Thanksgiving and that you have time to give thanks for all your blessings.

Shine

First of all, here is an updated photo of my sweet Tadiwa.

Doesn't she shine?

Now, in other goodness...

Do any of you remember this handsome young man,  Panashe?

Back in May I wrote this post hoping to find him a sponsor. Although some of you were also able to see the specialness in this boy, no one was able to make the commitment to sponsor him.

Confession time: The first thing I did after signing the contract for my new job/promotion? Sponsoring Panashe.

How could I not (and why would I not)? This boy is always on my mind, and I was and am sure that God has placed him there for a reason.

Last week my dear friend, Melissa, who is the founder of Beautiful Feet Global Outreach (the organization through which I sponsor both Tadiwa and Panashe) returned from Zimbabwe where she, among many other things, delivered mail to sponsored kids and announced the good news to those with newly committed sponsors.

Panashe has been described as quiet and laid back, an observer, and maybe a little shy and withdrawn (it has also been said that at times he will start laughing uncontrollably, which I love, because everything I have learned about Panashe sounds a lot like me at his age).

Melissa told me that Panashe "came alive" when he learned that he was sponsored.

And here, my friends, is the proof.

Oh, Zimbabwe, you hold so many who hold my heart.

Perspective

I mentioned recently that I got a promotion. The autism program in which I have worked for the last six years is expanding and has opened a brand new classroom. I am so excited to launch this new K-1 class, although I have to admit that building a special education class from the ground up has been nothing short of exhausting.

It seems as though we have met nearly every barrier possible, and things that should have taken a day to get done are taking weeks. From furnishing the room and buying curriculum that fits in the budget to attempting to build a positive relationship at our new school site, it seems as though it has mostly been an uphill battle.

I have tried to keep a positive attitude because I am doing what I love, and I see God's hand all over the place: in the timing of this new position, in the all-new staff team that has come together and seems to fit wonderfully, and of course in the sweet faces of the little ones we serve.

But, in all honesty, in my own mind as well as in a few emails written out of frustration, I've had a bad attitude. Just today I came home steaming that we still don't have internet hooked up in our room, and I still don't have a printer and computer that work together, and I still don't have a code to use the copier. I find it easy to complain about having to clean out all the unneeded items that were left behind by the last people to use the room, or the bugs in the carpet, or the bathroom not being cleaned to my standards.

Then today a friend from Zimbabwe tagged me in this photo on facebook.

This is a temporary school that we built two years ago. Although the village prays it will someday be rebuilt into a permanent structure, I can guarantee you that they are not complaining about the internet connection or printers, the bugs in the carpet, or the dirty bathroom.

Although I want the best for my students and will always advocate and fight for them in order to get them the support and respect that they need and deserve, I so easily forget how much we have to be thankful for.

As I teach this year, using the tools that may seem limited compared to other classrooms in the U.S., I will remember the precious children meeting in makeshift buildings and under trees, the siblings who take turns attending school because they share one pair of shoes, and the students who passionately practice writing their letters with a stick in the dirt. I pray that they will have teachers who love teaching as much as they love learning. I hope they will have encouragers and supporters to fight for them and to celebrate their victories. I pray for them the very best.

Happenings

Hey friends. I have been missing in action for a while, so I thought I'd take a few minutes to just let you all know I'm still here and to fill you in on some of the big stuff that has been happening.

This first part is for animal lovers only, because to those who are not this probably may not seem like such a big deal. But, if you are someone like me whose busy schedule leaves little time for a social life and who does not have family close by, your dog or pets become your family. After 5 years of being the healthiest dog in the world and having no health problems, it seems as though the sky has come crashing down on my little boy. He's been having so many health issues, one of the biggest problems being a torn ACL, which means he has no use of one of his back legs because of the pain. Long story short, he needs surgery plus more tests for other issues he is having. I am praying for wisdom in balancing how to care for my dog who is a huge part of my life while trying not to build up major debt as a result of all the pricey treatments he is needing.



My poor boy Doobie.
On behalf of pitbulls everywhere I must clarify that he usually does not require a muzzle,
only when he is having painful testing :(

Now onto some much happier news. I got a new job/promotion! I am so excited about my new position, but as for now I have to be vague (until I sign my contract next week).

I am still chugging through grad school and am nearing the half-way mark.

And now, I have saved the best for last! A member of my family recently had a baby. Although she knew she would not be able to keep the baby she did not have an adopting family in line when the sweet little boy arrived 6 weeks early. Because he was born with drugs in his system the only choice given was a family member adopting him, or being taken by CPS. In response my mom and her husband decided to step up to the call, and they are in the process of adopting. My family recently made the trip from Colorado to California to introduce me. His name is Caleb Liam, and I am in love. I spent the last six days getting to know my little brother, and now my arms feel very empty without him.

Hope you all are well.

The Power of Words

Today I have the honor of being a guest writer over at Love is an Action. I hope you will stop by and read my post about the power of words, and then take some time to check out the rest of Lizzie's blog and her beautiful heart for others.

 

Eleven

Thanks to Lizzie over at Love is an Action I am temporarily rising out of my blogging slump. Lizzie nominated me for a Liebster award, which is basically a fun way to share your favorite blogs and get to know each other a little better.

There are a few parts to this award: sharing 11 random facts, answering 11 questions chosen by the previous recipient, and then selecting other bloggers (with less than 200 followers) to pass the award on to.

First things first, here are 11 random facts about me:

1. In 5th grade I won the tetherball championship at my (small) school.
2. I dislike Disneyland. So unCalifornian of me, I know.
3. Although I dislike Disneyland, it was an amazing experience to sing in the Disneyland Candlelight Choir when I was 15.
4. I have the sweetest dog in the world.

5. On Monday I ate cookies 'n' cream ice cream for dinner.
6. I don't eat breakfast, but I know I should.
7. Including step and in-law siblings, I have 12 brothers and sisters.
8. I still wear a retainer to bed every night.
9. Elephants and whales are my favorite animals.
10. My spastic grey hairs have upgraded to full-on highlights.

11. After I finish grad school I would like to relearn Spanish, and hopefully become fluent someday.

Here are my questions from Lizzie:

1. Describe yourself in eight words or less: In desperate need of a break.
2. If you could be remembered for one thing, what would it be? Providing children with the love and support they need to reach their full potential and realize their dreams.
3. Who has had the most impact on your life and why? I would have to say my grandparents. They were constants in an often crazy childhood, and their lives reflect(ed) the love of Christ.

My grandpa and grandma Doerksen feeding each other cake on their 65th anniversary. 

4. If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be and why? There are many places I would like to be, but I will say in Colorado visiting my grandma. I hate that I am not there to keep her company as she adjusts to life without my grandpa.
5. What is your favorite TV show and why? I love Amazing Race because sometimes I get to see glimpses of places I love, and I love seeing traditions and cultures around the world.
6. What is the best compliment you have ever received? My friend Kelley sent me an email a few years ago that said that she keeps my photo by her light switch so it is one of the last things she sees at night and one of the first things she sees in the morning because I inspire her. (She said it much more eloquently). It has stuck with me, and has motivated me to be that girl shes sees in the photo.

She inspires me too. 

7. What is your most memorable letter you have ever received? I receive many amazing and memorable letters from my Compassion kids. The most memorable would probably be the letter that I received from Lorkens in Haiti, written shortly after the earthquake.
8. Who is the most important person in your life? I don't think I can choose one who is the most important, as I have so many close friends and family members who play irreplaceable roles in my life.
9. What would you do with a million dollars? Oh, the million dollar question! I would pay off all my school debt and invest in or create an organization that provides education and opportunities for children with special needs in third world countries.
10. What is your favorite memory? This is hard, there are so many, so I am going with the first one that comes to mind. This memory spans over 24 hours. It began at Immanuel Child Development Center near Vellore, India, when I made immediate and life-long connections with a couple of the most amazing children on this planet, and it continued as I traveled to Chennai to meet Dilsly. Dilsly confided in me about many things too deep and personal to write in her letters, mostly about her mother who died when she was young. It was a beautiful 24 hours.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize that they were the big things.

11. What is the most encouraging thing you have been told, and have you shared it with others? It wasn't meant to be encouraging, but someone once told me, "Rebecca, you can't save everyone." Through that comment I have come to realize that I can't save anyone, and God doesn't ask me to. He asks me to be obedient, and in that He can use me. This is encouraging because it pushes me to keep going. Even when I can't see the outcome or even the process, I know God is working.

Now to pass the fun along to some bloggy friends (if you would like to participate and are not listed, please let me know and I'll add you):

Annabelle at Along the Emmaus Road
Kayla at Tales of Child Sponsorship
Sarah at Goats Milk Lattes
April at Two in Blue
Aylin at Free and Holy
Jill at Compassion Family
Hannah at Because of Shamim
Susan at To Africa with Love

And here are your questions:
1. What is one thing you want to be remembered for?
2. Who do you relate the most to in the Bible and why?
3. Who has had the greatest impact on your life and why?
4. If you got to "make a wish" and spend one day doing anything, what would you do?
5. What is the best compliment you have ever received?
6. If you had to choose a completely different career/life path, what would you do?
7. What would you do with a million dollars?
8. List the guests from your dream dinner party.
9. If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
10. Tell us about one of your favorite memories.
11. What makes you laugh?

Creepy Crawlers

This is an untold story from my time in Zimbabwe that I am sharing for my friend who recently had a near heart attack from a spider in her car. So, miss Aylin, this story is dedicated to you.

When I first arrived in Zimbabwe I was pleasantly surprised by my cozy little room where I would stay for the majority of my time there. Although it was well-kept and clean, as I walked through the small lodge I noticed that there were spiders...everywhere. Big black spiders, many easily the size of my fist when taking into account their long legs. During the evenings I would sit in the common area and out of boredom would count the spiders hanging on the walls. One evening I counted 17 in the one small room. Like I said, they were everywhere.

Immediately Tecla told me, "Do not kill the spiders. They are not dangerous, and they kill other things that are dangerous." I am not really creeped out by creepy crawlers, and if I was I had more important things to worry about, such as centipedes, scorpions, and snakes which also seemed to greet me on a regular basis.

So, I trusted Tecla, went a month ignoring the spiders, and they seemed to ignore me. That is, until one evening as I settled into bed I spotted a humongous spider on the wall, right by where I laid my head to sleep. I had been pretty accommodating, but this spider, my friends, was pushing the limits. I grabbed my shoe and took a quick swipe at him. I kid you not he lunged toward me before I even knew what was happening.

That is the point that the predator became the prey, and I discovered the spider was out for my life.

As he chased me around the room, one shoe on and the other in my hand (leaving my other barefoot vulnerable) I jumped and dodged from the bed to the chair and back again, apparently shrieking and squealing with each close call. In a few short moments the night guard, Dumisani, was knocking at my door. (Dumisani deserves an entire post of his own...he was my protector, prayer warrior and friend. Shortly after I left he passed away, but I am so happy and blessed that I had the opportunity to know him).

Dumisani helped me corner the little sucker and together we escorted him to creepy crawler heaven. I went to bed and slept peacefully, but awoke to find that during the night one of the spider's friends sought revenge on me for their fallen comrade. Tecla was right, the spiders weren't seriously dangerous, but I was left with a pesky little bite that had me doped up on Benadryl for the entire day.

After the bite I realized that these were not your average spiders. These spiders had sent me a message. They would allow me to stay peacefully if I did the same for them. I am pretty sure it was no coincidence that the only bite that I got was the same night of my only spider killing.

Message received.

I continued living with the spiders almost peacefully. There was some tension during the weeks that I stayed in another home with a thatched roof, sleeping with a sheet over my head so no spiders (or other creepy crawlers) would fall from the roof and into my mouth in the middle of the night (which I am happy to say was a strategy that proved successful). And then, of course, there was the spider in the shower incident, but I will leave that to your imagination. For the most part, though, we continued on in our peaceful truce.

That is until my mom came to visit.

As my mom and the visiting ministry team walked through the lodge someone commented on the spiders. I warned them, as Tecla did for me, not to kill the spiders. In addition I added an additional caution that if you leave them alone they'll do the same for you, but if you try to kill them they will attack. I heard a few giggles, restated my concern -this time with more urgency, heard full on laughter, and decided to leave them to their fate.

I kid you not it was that very evening as I was walking down that hall that I heard shrieks and squeals coming from my bedroom. I opened the door to find my mom on the run, shoe in hand, in full-on escape mode. 

Funniest moment ever. I was laughing so hard that all I could say to was, "I told you so."

I believe that evening Dumisani once again came running to the rescue, but this time both spider and human somehow managed to survive unharmed.

And that is how memories are made.

So, my friends, a word of wisdom: If you ever visit Zimbabwe, let the spiders be. 

This One is Special

Earlier in my post, A Day for the Motherless, I shared photos of several children, some who are in orphanages hoping for a family to adopt them, and others in orphanages simply waiting for a sponsor and mentor to pour some love and encouragement into their lives.

Today I want to highlight one of these children who God has placed a little more heavily on my heart. Any of you who have been around here long know that, to put it simply, Zimbabwe holds a special piece of my heart.

Panashe is from Zimbabwe, and lives in an orphanage which is served by Beautiful Feet Global Outreach. As I have shared before, this ministry has adopted a group of orphanages in Zimbabwe, and is striving to not only provide the children in these homes with their basic needs, but to also provide them with love, encouragement, and support from sponsors who are given the opportunity to pour into their lives.

This sponsorship is unique, as the vision is for three to come together to provide for the needs of a child and lift them up with love and kindness. This post, The Power of Three, goes more deeply into the heart of this vision.

The child I am pleading on behalf of today, Panashe, is twelve years old. The first time I saw him there was a little twinge in my heart saying, "This one is special." Before I knew anything about him I knew there was much more under that shy smile than one could see on the surface.

Lately I have learned a little more about this young man, and the more I learn the more he holds my heart.

No information is available about Panashe's family. He came to the orphanage after police took him off the streets of Harare where he was living and fending for himself. After police found him, he spent a month in the hospital because of his poor health, after which he was able to move into the orphanage.

At the age of twelve this young man has likely seen and experienced more than you and I could imagine. I praise God that he now has a safe place to sleep and that his needs are provided. My prayer for Panashe is for God to provide someone to come along side him and pour into his life until he is overflowing with confidence and joy.

If you have seen the specialness in Panashe as I have, maybe God is asking you to be the one to bless him with your love. The goal is to have three come together, but it starts with one. If you would like to commit to becoming Panashe's sponsor at any level ($25, $30, or $35), you can do that here.

A Day for the Motherless

Today is a beautiful day of celebration for mothers and children around the United States. For some it is also a day of sadness, a day of mourning and remembrance for those who have experienced loss of a mother or the loss of a child.

And then for others, like me, it is a day of mixed emotions. Celebration and gratefulness for having a supportive mother in my life, an amazing step-mom, and grandmothers here and in heaven who have weaved love into my life from childhood. But I am also overwhelmed with a sense of longing. Longing for the children that my arms have yet to hold, and for those I have held in my arms and hold in my heart, but are separated by distance. 

As a childless mother on this day, I cannot help but think of all the motherless children in the world. Today it is for these children that my heart truly breaks.

Here are the beautiful faces of some of these children, representing others from all around the world. As you celebrate your moms today, I ask that you also remember the orphans, the one's waiting, hoping, and longing to know the love of a mother.

(Some of these children are waiting for a family, others who do not have this opportunity are simply waiting for a sponsor and mentor to pour into their lives. For more info on any of these children and how you can help them specifically, click on the name below the photo).

 

Panashe
 

Yelena

 

 

 

Farai

 

Tadiwa

 

 

Clara

 

 

Brandon

 

 

Agina

 

 

Owen

 

 

Kuda
 

 

Pamela

 

 Happy Mother's Day!